i’ve neglected this. my humble blog. my one REAL blog. my “blog” blog. oh my.

granted, it’s because i have livejournal, tumblr, facebook, TWO myspaces (one for my music and one for my ego), twitter, formspring… okay, so maybe my life is kind of consumed by the internet. just a little bit. okay, a lotta’ bit. maybe i should cut down a little.

please notice that my thoughts are more scattered than normal. i currently have two tests coming up tomorrow, Connor is a wreck because i’ve been such a bitch because i’m stressed out, i’m getting fat because i’m a stress eater- you get the picture. also, i’m taking a focus class on the Beat Generation writers, and i’m emulating Jack Kerouac’s spontaneous prose.

okay, so maybe that last one was only half-true.

the past year, in short:

• GRADUATED!
• ROAD TRIP! to Manzanita OR, Eureka CA, San Francisco CA, Sedona AZ, Lordsburg NM, San Antonio TX, Austin TX, New Orleans LA, Houston TX, Tulsa OK, Wichita KS, Denver CO, Salt Lake City UT, Boise ID and then we FINALLY got back home to Seattle! it took us about three weeks and now i’m itching to get back on the Road. gotta love that pavement.
• had some friends visit from Europe and NY. showed them around Seattle. it was nice.
• worked at a HORRIBLE boutique for the two meanest gay men in the world. was fired because i got mad at them when they called me fat.
• my brother got arrested on an armed robbery charge three days before thanksgiving and went to jail. i spent thanksgiving with Connor’s family and got to know them a little better. i made two pies. they were a big hit! yay!
• brother is put on house arrest, thus begins the worst six months of my life, in which i won’t go into much detail other than to highlight the fact that i gained 10 pounds from stress eating.
• brother goes back to jail, then goes to rehab. all is well again.

unfortunately i’m still living with my parents, but that will change soon. i’m moving in with one of my best girlfriends, this lovely lady:

this is Caitlin. she's been one of my best friends since the first grade. she is an incredible artist and a total heartbreaker. i love her! also, forgive my freakish appearance. i had just been in a musical.

and, of course, my guy. we just found a duplex near my new job (at a cafe! in Fremont! woohoo!), it’s in an old Victorian house and i think we’re going to go for it. it’s a two bedroom- a small bedroom with lots of light and bookshelves for Cait, and Connor and i will be taking the larger bedroom; which happens to be in the attic! very cool! it also has black-and-white checkered linoleum in the kitchen and has peach interior walls with light gray trim. i’m totally in love.

that’s all i have to say for now.

i went from being the crazy goth-nerd girl my freshman year:

to anorexic theatre-nerd my sophomore year:

*dressing up as Holly Golightly*

to ballet-obsessed recluse my junior year:

to early-college-student-cowgirl-musician my senior year:

…it has been quite a wild ride. it’s like every year i come back and surprise everyone. i can’t believe it’s almost over. exactly one month from now i will be done with high school, FOREVER. i would be nostalgic, but these really were NOT the best years of my life. then again, i guess it’s easy to look back and think only of the bad times- it’s human nature, our survival instinct that causes us to do that.

and lord knows, if i’ve learned anything over the past four years, it’s that i am only human.

anyway, what got me to thinking about all this nostalgic high school stuff is that i have to somehow find a way to get 15 service hours under my belt before June 19th. i think i’ll volunteer again at this non-profit animal shelter that specializes in rescuing kitties. for every three or four hours of volunteering, you get 20 minutes of playing or snuggling with a kitty of your choice. it always makes me so glad that i have Duckie- just listening to her purring when she’s sitting my lap is the most rewarding sound i’ve ever experienced, knowing that if it weren’t for me she would be dead.

i urge whoever reads this blog (which is no one, i’m assuming… but still, if you stumble across it) to adopt rescued animals if you have the time and the means to do it. it’s an amazing thing knowing that you made one life better just by providing simple things like food, water, and, most importantly- love.

here’s essentially how things went down:

Me: Hey Bill, can i work more hours/can you stop hiring other people to do my job without even asking me to pick up those shifts?

Bill (my boss): ARGHBLARGHBLAUGHHHHH!!!!

Me: Okay…

Bill: Well Laura, you don’t seem to have a very good attitude when you’re at work- like you don’t want to be there or something. i can’t hire you for more than one day a week. if that’s not enough for you, then i think you should just pick up your remaining paychecks and move on.

Me: Fine. cough *DICK!* cough

Bill: What?

Me: Nothing….

i will not give in. i will try again when they start accepting the new round of applications in October.

in the meantime, i should really find SOMETHING.

I GET AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE SUN.

you think i am joking… i’m not. i was thrilled that it was sunny yesterday and today. it got up to about 72 yesterday! so nice! so i traded in my thick, knit dresses and leggings for my preferred summer attire; cut-off shorts, vintage t-shirts and cowboy boots. this quarter i have two hours to kill in between my first and second periods… in which (today, at least), i cruised around town with a girlfriend (Marty) and lay in the park, reading a good book and soaking up some rays.

getting truly into the spirit of the season, i decided to go home and make some summery food; i bake the best key-lime pie this side of Tampa, so i decided to whip one up and surprise Connor with it. while i was cheerily whistling to myself and whisking together the lime zest and egg yolks, i began casually scratching my arm, and thought to myself, “Would you look at that! First mosquito bite of the season!” i was thrilled. that is, until i actually looked at it.

it resembled something like the result of a colony of killer bees landing on my arm and deciding it was unfriendly- it was red and bumpy and hot to the touch. before i knew it, the hives had spread to my other forearm and my face. helpless and terrified, i dialed Connor’s number and, in response to his,”Hello?” i screeched something like, “HEEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I’M DYYYIIIIIINNNGGGG!!!!” he told me to come over to his house so he could see what all the fuss was about, so i slapped my sunglasses on, shoved my elbows into the sleeves of my t-shirt and drove at about twice the speed limit the entire way there.

upon seeing me, being a rational adult and all, Connor just laughed and pulled out my medication and pointed to a yellow label on the Levaquin my doctor prescribed me, which read: “WARNING: when taking this medication, avoid exposure to direct sunlight.” so he spent the remainder of the evening periodically spritzing my bumpy, red, extremely unpleasant-looking skin with spray-on aloe vera.

and i felt like an idiot.

Me: Well, i thought it would be nice to have it outside. Like in the arboretum. And, seeing as this is Seattle and all, we can probably only count on it not raining in… oh, say… late july.

Connor: Sounds good.

Me: And i think we should have a marble cake, ’cause you like chocolate and i like vanilla… with butterflies on the outside to go with the butterfly theme.

Connor: Reasonable.

Me: Speaking of the butterfly theme… do you think it’s completely over-the-top to have hundreds of butterflies released as we walk down the aisle after the ceremony?

Connor: Not at all. That sounds great!

Me: And then have a HORSE-DRAWN-CARRIAGE take us to the reception!

Connor: …. sure?

Me: You’re just saying yes to everything i say to make me happy, aren’t you.

Connor: Is that a problem?

first, i thought i was pregnant. i had unprotected sex (i know, stupid….), and i forgot to pick up my birth control prescription from the pharmacy (again, stupid…). i started gaining weight, i grew boobs all of a sudden (FINALLY!), i was feeling ill every morning, my period didn’t come at the time it usually does… all signs pointed to me being knocked up.

but a pregnancy test proved otherwise.

then, today i got my period. now, i didn’t always have menstrual problems, but ever since i started eating again about a year ago, i’ve been growing a bit concerned. my family has a history of menstrual problems, meaning a very painful, heavy period. my mom recently underwent surgical menopause because as she got older, she would lose so much blood during her periods that she would faint and have to go to the hospital.

i really don’t want the same thing to happen to me, but i don’t know of any way to prevent it.

i have fainted during menstruation before, and it is scary as hell. fortunately enough, my body produces blood at a fast enough rate that i was able to recover on my own. but what about when i get older and my blood production slows down? what if i pass out and no one is there to call 911? what if i DIE from this?

we went and got coffee at Fremont Coffee Company (i will commonly refer to this as FCC), and lunch at Agua Verde, our favorite mexican restaurant which just reopened for the springtime! so excellent. then, we parted ways for a few hours so that he could study and i could work out. we reconvened at my house where i made us a lovely dinner of rice, steamed soybeans and thai-shrimp gyoza (also known as potstickers).

but there was one thing that totally baffled me about today. i got really tired after we watched this week’s episodes of Dollhouse and The Office, so Connor said, “Okay honey, you go to sleep and i’ll clean up the kitchen.” Sweetest thing EVER for a man to say, right? so i dozed off for a little while, woke up and decided i needed a bite of my hazelnut crunch bar. i went into the kitchen and it was spotless…

but nearly ever single cabinet and drawer was open, as were the dishwasher and the fridge.

now how do you explain that??

Manicures: usually i am extremely opposed to these things. seeing as i am a musician, a guitarist at that, i prefer to keep my nails long on my right hand (for picking) and short on my left (for pressing down on the strings), and polish-free. the exact opposite of a manicure

but my nails are getting absolutely grotesque these days. i have gotten into the habit of filing them instead of cutting them, and there is obviously something wrong with the chemical structure of my nails because they keep breaking off in the most unpleasant manner. and getting those ugly white marks, which indicate that they are dry and it’s just gotten out of hand. (HAHAHAHA oh my god what a pun…)

so tomorrow i am doing it.

i am using the inSpa gift certificate my mom got me for christmas,
and getting a manicure.
(plus, it’ll be great to test for prom!)

PS: is it weird that my brother used HIS inSpa gift certificate before i used mine? does that mean i’m butch? more butch than my pants-sagging, rapping, marijuana-smoking, fist-wielding brother? 

this can’t be good.

Morons: now, i just have to get this out there. I CANNOT STAND ADAM COROLLA. he is just awful. he has a radio show here in Seattle on what USED to be the grunge and alternative rock station, 107.7 the End. but some bozo decided that it would be a great idea to have him and Danny Bonaduce (of the Partridge family and now of VH1′s Breaking Bonaduce) talking shit about completely random people on the morning show and not playing any music at all, and booting out my FAVORITE TWO DJ’S IN THE WORLD, Jennifer White and DJ No Name. and of course, because celebrities require royalties, The End now has to play twice as many commercials, and have huge record companies make their playlists for them, which mostly consist of mainstream garbage with the occasional Pearl Jam song thrown in.

fuck that shit.

fuck you, Adam Corolla, for taking away my radio station.

my parents are both out of town right now, and, seeing as my brother is always stoned off-his-ass and i rarely clean up the kitchen when i’m done with my culinary endeavors, they decided we needed someone to look after us. unfortunately, that someone is my Uncle Steve.

now, I’m not saying Steve isn’t a nice guy. he is. It’s just… he’s one of those adults who try to tell me how to run my life. I’m not saying i know everything about the world, but I’m pretty mature for my age… minus my Hello Kitty obsession and my omnipresent fascination with the word “poop”.

when i walked in the door this afternoon after getting coffee and art supplies with Connor (because we’re just beat-ish like that), Uncle Steve casually asked me about my music. i was flattered that he was interested, and said it was going very well. that’s it, end of story. my deal. not your deal.

but no.

Uncle Steve decided that instead of just leaving the conversation like that, he was going to delve deep into the depths of my my musical experience. who is my guitar teacher? what does he teach me? blues theory and songwriting, huh? he should teach you more jazz theory. he should teach you how to read music. what bands has he played with? when are you recording your album? who are your musicians? you haven’t rehearsed yet? oh that’s bad. you should rehearse. your music is never going to be good unless you get everyone together at this time, at this place, yadayadayada. you should use only these PA’s. you shouldn’t get the guitar you want, you should get the one i want, so that i can come over to your house and play it…

you get the picture.

it’s just this “holier than thou” persona that he puts on all the time. i understand that he thinks he’s just trying to give me some advice, but really? i know plenty about music. i don’t need him trying to run my life for me. my mother already does that enough.

another thing that bothered me? i worked hard to make everyone a good meal. i made homemade mac and  cheese, for christ’s sake! you’d think that my Uncle, AND my brother AND my brother’s friend Brian would at the very, very least clear their own plates. but no. Joe actually let Rusty lick his bowl and then just let it sit there, ON THE GROUND!

why can’t more men be like Connor? yesterday when i was feeling sick and disgusting he brought me Pog and mintwater, put on some DVD’s forme to watch and even made me homemade matzoh ball soup! which was DELICIOUS, by the way.

i really don’t know what i would do without that young man

i’ve been thinking lately about the wedding. yep, you heard me. wedding.

okay, whoever is reading this (if anyone) probably wants me to take a few steps back and explain myself: Connor unofficially popped the question in August of 2007. i say “unofficially” because a.) i was 16 at the time, b.) i of course wanted to wait for the real shebang until AFTER i was done with high school, c.) there were no diamonds involved. so what i’ve got now is the most gorgeous promise ring (it’s not a diamond but the next best thing… amethyst!) and a date set for two years from now. i know, i know. i’m only 18, what could i possibly know about who i’m going to spend the rest of my life with?

trust me. i’ve heard it. and if i’ve loved Connor for five years, i’m sure another fifty won’t hurt anything

ANYWAY, i’ve already got my bridesmaids, color scheme, location, “here comes the bride” replacement song, wedding cake and flowers all picked out, which only leaves Connor’s part of the workload (groomsmen, entertainment and food), and….the big kahuna… THE DRESS.

i have been looking for years- seriously- YEARS, for the perfect wedding dress. did you see that movie Mamma Mia? i want my dress to look kind of like the one the main character wears in that, except less frilly and a leeetle bit longer. also, (and i plan to do this myself), i am sewing large, iridescent butterfly wings onto the back of the dress. you see, my ORIGINAL plan for the wedding was to have it in a remote mexican village where every single monarch butterfly in the world migrates, on the same day every year. i wanted to get married there, on that day. romantic, right? of course, Connor put his foot down. he also put his foot down when i suggested having Gogol Bordello play our wedding. he said that it would give our grandparents heart attacks, and that i’d be seduced by Eugene Hutz. fooey. sometimes i hate it when he’s right. 

anyway, i’ve been looking for my dress forever. i KNOW it must be somewhere out there. how could i wear any other dress in the arboretum, with no shoes, carrying wildflowers? with Anji (my sister), Caitlin, Emma, Gina, Kirsten, and Maddi as my bridesmaids and Sarah as my Maid of Honor? walking down the aisle on my father’s arm while Todd Snider’s “All My Life” plays softly in the background? smooching Connor while everyone else is smiling? dancing to our song, “In Spite of Ourselves”, by John Prine feat. Iris DeMent? drinking pink champagne? cutting our marbles cake because he likes chocolate and i like vanilla?

HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!